Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Valiant Knight says ……..
Divorce – the legal dissolution of a marriage is such a common thing nowadays compared to what it was in the past. When we were young, our parents would not even use this word when they talk about so and so having broken up with his or her spouse. It is a taboo word. Nowadays, young people flaunt the word like a branded name. “I’m a divorcee,” they would proclaim as if telling people they are wearing a Rolex watch! It is in fashion! Let us examine the consequences of such an action.
Many people still have the opinion that it is the man that is the initiator of a divorce. Wrong! As I have pointed out in earlier articles, the women have to bear a big part of the onus, too. Most man would have their flings outside marriage but the idea of divorcing their spouses if far from their minds. However, it is the women who when they find out that their man has been committing adultery who would want a divorce.
Why is this so? A man wants to have his cake and eat it! Most of the time when he is out having a good time with a lady companion, he is out for a good time for a moment. [Of course there are some who find the situation more inviting than that at home. We will discuss this below.] He hides the flings from his spouse if possible and should the good wife finds out from a busybody friend, hell breaks loose and usually the man would deny it ever happened or make excuses and try to play it down all for the sake of trying to save his flimsy marriage. Surprisingly, most women fall for the lame excuses because in their hearts they do not want to lose the husband for various reasons. It may be because of financial insecurity, it may be real true love for the husband, it may be for the sake of the children, it may be to save face and so on. However, will she forget or forgive him even if there is no immediate divorce? The answer is usually, no. This becomes the catalyst for and ultimate showdown that would lead to a divorce at a later stage.
Most men would be at a lost if their wives divorce them. Men being men are practically poor home managers and can do very little for themselves if left alone, so a divorced man is left in solitude and rather incompetent to look after his own daily needs! [There are exceptions.] Also, a man who is divorced sort of feels he is useless and it is a morale deflation! His fellow men would look at him and say he is a failure. Many men would not admit to this. Worst still, if it is the wife who had an affair and divorce him for another man! Most men would be devastated, his world would crumple and he will be a pathetic sight to behold! Many run whimpering to another woman to seek solace and repeat the vicious cycle of failed marriages!
When a man can no longer tolerate his wife for various reasons, he would usually find a standby first and until and unless he knows that he prefers this spare tyre, he would not make the move to divorce his wife. Reasons such as young children would be foremost in his mind. But should he find the new relationship more ideal and there is sufficient pressure put on him by this other woman to divorce his wife, he is most likely to do so.
The main reason why a man cannot tolerate his present wife is usually related to adultery. This is the number one reason men divorce their wives. Secondly, it is usually when the wife cannot satisfy him (in his usual selfish way of making love). Even for this second reason, he may not divorce his wife if he can satisfy his lust outside. Third, a man divorces his wife because his wife is unable to live up to his social level. Imagine a Managing Director of a company having a wife that looks like a house maid! Some women neglect themselves so much after marriage that they become so different in looks and behaviour before marriage. Don’t they deserve to be chucked out? Finally, complete breakdown of communications between the couple is the final straw. If two persons cannot bring up things in a sensible manner of conversation, what is there left? Sign language or body language only?

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