Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Lady in red says….
Yes, divorce is like a fashion trend in to-day’s society. I did a random survey and surprisingly, I found out the rates of divorce is quite high among old couples who opts to stay out of their marriage that sucks. Mrs. Lim, 65 says, “Life is too short, if my husband wants to keep Amy, let him. I don’t have to slave myself to take care of him.”
In the earlier topics why men or women cheat, a fling for pleasure is not to be taken lightly as it will definitely develop into a relationship and once the fire is lighted, emotional feelings cannot be control and this leads to divorce. Sally, 50 told me when she found out that her husband cheated on her, she said, “What’s the point to keep the marriage and pretend that nothing happens!”
I do agree with Valiant Knight that Lack of communication is one of the key factors that cause a divorce. Ann said, “I do not know what is happening to our marriage. Every time there is a conflict, he just switched me off.” Expectations were not clear and discussion about their feelings was not carried out. Sometimes I do experience that myself, how my husband expects me to read his mind when he is angry with me. Generally, if husbands and wives do not communicate, there will be bound to have a lot of hidden skeletons that will shock each other. Lack of communication can get worse if this is not being sorted out.
Sex is an essential aspect of marriage. For older couples, sexual dysfunction or being disinterested may begin and if the couple is unable to resolve this, it may become a reason for divorce. Valiant Knight had mentioned about that and men can easily seek sexual needs with any women and of course they have to pay a price. So ladies out there especially those who had reached menopause, it’s still part of the deal to provide sexual needs to your husband if you want to keep him.
The other reason could be Financial Issues – Money can be a possible cause of disagreement between couples. Particularly housewives not getting enough to manage the household, so they source for other income like direct sales. And when the wives get too involved in top selling programs that may take them away for outstation trips, that’s where trouble starts when they meet other men and get involved in relationships.
Various forms of Abuse usually allow the wives to take the bold steps by starting their own business with a Woman Support Group to help them to be independent. Abuse can come in the form of physical, sexual or emotional abuse. Drug, alcohol and excessive gambling can become detrimental to the marriage. With more women awareness program, these women can make a choice to stay or get out of an abusive marriage.
Having affairs of course is the main reason most wives want to get out from their marriages. Lucy, 45 said to me, “its better that I let him go because at the back of my mind, his heart is no longer with me. So what’s the point of keeping him?”
Incompatibility – I do agree with Valiant Knight about his view on some couples not able to keep to a standard of a high profile lifestyle. For an example, Lydia, a lawyer felt out of place with her husband, a mechanic on official functions. Due to frequent official functions, they were not able to find a common ground intellectually and emotionally resulting in stressful situations which lead on to a feeling of jealousy on the part of the husband.
Divorce is ugly but what’s the point in keeping the marriage just to “save face” when things just don’t work out anymore? Husbands have to sacrifice the hot meals, the laundry and the daily needs unless he finds another replacement that has a price tag attached. Although divorce women are still a threat to the society, most women are quite happy without men in their lives and if they have, they want to keep them as “soul mates” only!

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