Saturday, July 4, 2009


Lady in red says….
Valiant Knight seemed to feel that women are at fault for cheating on their spouse. It takes two hands to clap and they are mature enough to make choices, no one should be blamed except themselves.
Men usually cheat for physical reasons and women for emotional reasons. Very often, the husbands are not aware of their wives' affairs as they are consumed by in pursuing their own goals. The reasons are similar to men's reasons for infidelity. Women cheat on their husbands for various reasons like excitement, passion, boredom with their marriage or being neglected by the husband.
There is some truth to that, but when I asked some women to share why they strayed from their husbands. Here are some of their stories:
Unappreciated -- Jane 35, a secretary said her reason for cheating on her husband was that she was taken for granted too often. According to Jane, "My husband is not able to appreciate what I bring to the marriage in terms of sex, thrift and housekeeping skills. He is too busy trying to make money and so I have been receiving attention from my boss at work and one thing led to the other, so I enjoy my attention at the workplace."
Lack of excitement - Annie, 55, a businesswoman, admits that she has a great companionate relationship with her husband of 20 years but, she says, "I want sexual excitement which he does not offer nor is willing to try." She said that she was so bored with the marriage that she resorted to Internet dating. One day, by chance, a younger man admired her at the courier service center, they exchanged numbers and pho\ne conversations took on a sexual nature. She felt young and the excitement of attracting a younger man makes her life more exciting. The outstation trips became more frequent.
Lack of communication - Mary 30, a teacher married for just four years, describes her marriage as a “living hell", because her husband is very autocratic and does not communicate well. There are frequent fights and her husband fails to understand how his wife feels. This is leading to several other problems which will eventually lead to many other problems and the marriage is shaky right now. "It is hard to express my sexual feelings and he does know that he is not satisfying me, so I had to find sexual satisfaction from one of my many colleagues on training course."
Lonely - Lucy, 45, a housewife is well provided for by her husband and she should be satisfy with her lifestyle managing the house hold with house maid. Lucy said, "He is always travelling and when he is home, it is meetings, meetings, meetings!" And when he return home, he is usually tired and pay no attention to her and her effort of making herself looked good is a waste of effort. Lucy became lonely and temperamental and leads her to find comfort elsewhere by seeking out another man for happiness. She found a friend who is a tuition teacher giving tuition to her children. The daily tuition activity became a more excited event for both of them. Lucy said she have to play the game until she cannot take it anymore.
Revenge - Amy, 40, a nurse became unfaithful to her husband out of revenge, because she found out that her husband was sleeping around. Amy feels that since he chose that path, she will go there as well just to get back to him to get some revenge, an Egyptian doctor who was posted here, and being lonely without his family makes it easier for both of them to develop a relationship that may not lead them anywhere, but what does Amy cares?
Thrill - At some points, I do agree with Valiant Knight that some women simply cheat on their husbands for the thrill of not getting caught, or the feeling that they are getting away with something.
Self-esteem - Sex can be an instant pick-me-up; a self-esteem booster that makes women feel sexier, more beautiful and more loved. There are ways of making your spouse feels secure and good by paying attention to her and not holding back the compliments. Women needed to be appreciated, why let other men compliment your wife and you know that your wife looks good but you just can’t open your mouth and compliment her.
Predictable pattern - According to Michele Langley, author of Women's Infidelity, women's extra-marital relationships today follow a very predictable pattern like pushing men for commitment, getting what they want, losing interest in sex, becoming attracted to someone else, becoming angry and resentful and resulting them to start cheating. They blame their partners for their behavior and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.
So it’s all about choices men and women had to make!

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